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joneirik:rpg:page5

WarMachine: Page 5

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The more I read the forums, official and WvW ones, watch so many players in PvP and WvW, look at the Drama-Queen map-chat, etc. The more I'm reminded of this thing from WarMachine called Page 5.

First, WarMachine is a strategy game played with miniature figures, where 2 players makes each their army of similar points and battles it out on a table, with small trees, and miniatures (supposed to be painted, lots are to lazy for that). The most famous of these games are WarHammer Fantasy/40K. I play WarMachine with friends in weekends when I don't work, and they get away from kids. The WarMachine game is very competitive, and such often picks up a variety of “interesting” players that likes to spread their views to others.

In a tongue-in-cheek way to show what they really want with the game, and what they don't want etc, they've something they call “Page 5”, which is quite literally the Page 5 in the rulebook, which is sort of the over-arcing rules of the game.

And the more I play GW2, the more I think ANet really should just introduce these to everything, and say that if you want to play our game and use our forums, follow Page 5!

I've pasted the entire thing for you to read here, read them carefully and don't skim, lots of people do that and get them wrong.


Page 5

1) THOU SHALT NOT WHINE

This game is not suitable for wussies. If you cry when you lose, push off -'cause you're going to lose. If it hurts your fragile sensibilities to see your favorite character get pounded unmercifully by a rapid succession of no-holds-barred iron fury, you'd better look the other way. If you've ever whined the words, “That's too powerful,” then put down the book and slowly walk away. Now.

This is a game about aggression. This is metal-on-metal combat. This is fuel-injected power hopped up on steroids. This is WARMACHINE.

2) COME HEAVY, OR DON'T COME AT ALL

In every dark alley is a ruthless bastard waiting to carve another notch in his bat with your face. And across every table, in his unassuming, faded black T-shirt, is a cold-hearted killer mentally tearing you limb from limb.

WARMACHINE favors the aggressor. You've got to throw the first punch if you want to land on top. If you wait for your opponent to come to you, you're going to get steamrolled. You've got to have big [metaphorical] balls to play this game. You've got to charge your opponent and hang it all out there! You've got to break his formations. You've got to be relentless with your onslaught. You've got to go for the jugular and latch on like a rabid dog that hasn't eaten in days.

Anything less, and you'll be hamburger.

3) GIVE AS GOOD AS YOU GET

The proof is in the punishing - the one you give and the one you take. There's no honor in clobbering the smallest kid in the yard, and there's no pride to be won by blazing a path to the well for your fail-safe formula. The real bragging rights come from taking down the big dog with a move that jams his pizza hole open like he just had a Juggernaut in a tube sock applied vigorously to the back of his skull. Damn the status quo. Defy conventions! Tempt defeat, then wipe that food-trapping snaggletoothed grin off its face with a wrecking ball.

If the fight is easy, you're not challenging up the ladder.

4) WIN GRACIOUSLY AND LOSE VALIANTLY

Page 5 is about honesty. It's a self-awareness of what we're doing, why we're doing it, and who we're doing it for. It's about the kind of people we are and the kind of people we want to face across the table. Page 5 is a cultivated attitude designed to get the most out of the gaming experience. It's about showing up, playing your hardest to win, feeling satisfaction in a game well lost, and respecting your opponent for the accomplished competitor he or she is, no matter what the outcome.

5) PAGE 5 IS NOT AN EXCUSE

Most importantly - and let's state this loud and clear for the record - Page 5 is not permission to be a jackass in the name of competition. It's not a shield to hide behind when you're playing like a sissified cheeseball, running down the clock, gaming a scenario, or rules lawyering your hapless opponent to death. Page 5 doesn't discriminate between genders. And Page 5 is never, ever, EVER a licence to diminish another player so you can inflate your own vertically challenged self-esteem.

Remember, we all come here to battle out of a common love. Respect Page 5. Respect each other.

And now that we're all on the same page…

PLAY LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR.

joneirik/rpg/page5.txt · Last modified: 2022/08/10 16:15 by joneirik